that sad symphony

I regret that night:

when your splendor was clear to

my eyes, but I failed to sing the

song befitting you. Now the nocturnal

rhythm is playing that sad melody

of unproclaimed love. It started with the

gust of cold wind. Could have been

warmed by your presence – melting

my frozen heart. Then the dogs howled,

a crescendo-decrescendo summon for

company. There were the creeps of the

invisible. Shadows of the unlived moments.

How I wish it were the sweet

reverberation of the violin. Playing

our song. Then a moment of silence

disturbed my thought. And little by little

I heard the sound of my lonely heart.

A sad symphony calling you.

a red tulip

My eyes fixed at this wonderful
flora that ever graced this terrain.

Don in crimson dress, inviting,
and beaming with refined beauty.

At times I felt its stare at me.
With the sweetest smile on its face.

But I just could not decipher reality.
Fantasy was toying with emotion.

Then –
a strong instinct to pluck it.

Except I hesitated, was unsure. Afraid.
It might only wilt in my hands.

dream

Pardon my doubt on your
existence, but you pain me
when light opens my eyes.
In verge of despair.
You give false impression –
that I am encased in a
warm embrace. Of a beloved.
Only to realize that illusion.
I shiver in darkness. My bare hands
hugging my body. Cold.
Desolated in the shadows.
At times you affirm this loneliness.
With another loneliness.
Devastating. Please! I am hopeful:
don’t make my day an eternal night
of storms. Shine light in my darkness.
Make me fly when all else are in the sky.

in solitude

Tonight I write a poem for the lonely
for I am one – trapped in a cozy room
where the only light emanates from a
dying lamp; I hear the sound of silence:
it is deafening. But it reminds me I am alive,
for in this unholy hour past midnight, nothing lives
except me. The moon and the stars shine
brightly at the dark sky, they would not confess,
but loneliness overpowers their being. Like me.
As we live distance apart a single touch is
impossible. I want to shout to arouse the stillness
but I recognize the futility, no one will be awaken
except enemies. In this time, I am alone;
my mind though kept wandering, traveling
through time – past, present, future. Yesterday
I had the company of loving beings,
this minute I exist in solitude; will tomorrow
be the same, I ask. No one is certain, but me.
If I persist, paradise is a hand away.
So tonight I end this solitude,
tomorrow I will sow company.

waves

You are great – a part
of a vast ocean enfolding the whole terrain
I will drown if you swallow me, gasping
for breath as my air chamber
slowly crumbles;
the dangerous but wonderful, it is you.
Beauty: the scene of your palisades that churches
become dwarfs:
hue of blue and white intertwined with
splash of green all around. But be not too proud;
you are nothing –
the sun and sky gave you color,
color that nothing compares
and the tectonics dance you in great rhythm
choreographed in harmony.
Be simple, and in eternity
I will see you forever
living in grandeur. Waving.

room 209

Nakadungaw ang aking mga mata sa bintana.
Nagmamasid ng mga taong dumadaan. Sa labas,
may mga estudyante: masasaya, nagkukwentuhan,
nagtatawanan . Ang iba seryoso,
siguro may pagsubok sa klase
may nalimutang basahin; kawawa.
Sa kotse sa kalsada, masid ang
mga propesyonal may kausap sa cellphone
habang nagmamaneho, huwag naman maaksidente.
May mga nagtratrabaho sa kalye,
bantay ang mga panindang nilalako
dyaryo, sigarilyo, pagkain – sarap.
Mabuti pa sila. Nasisilayan ang pagsikat
ng araw, ramdam ang pagpatak ng ulan,
nakakapaglibot kung saan. Malaya.
Habang ako nandito sa loob,
nagmamasid ng buhay sa labas: isang bilanggo
– inosente pero walang magawa
nakatali ang kamay
bilang ang paghinga. Death sentenced:
ilang buwan na lang sabi nila.
Di makalakad ng malayo: nanghihina.
Puso’t katawan naghihirap na. Kaya heto,
nakadungaw lang sa bintana. Nag-aabang ng buhay.
May hinihintay. (Sa Hospital Ward 209)

to redeem

Look into my soul – a prisoner; detained in this earth
of broken dreams and unattainable peace, a Utopia –
a paradise for the fools, I would say. Day in and day out,
I breathe air. It brings me life, but I know it is poison: filled
with smoke of angst, and ill-fated, emanating from the
remnants of Sodom. This aura is omnipotent – fathoming
the ends of the universe, thus inescapable. Where life is,
it follows – rather it lives. From the most minuscule
organisms, there are parasites. And in every man,
there are a hundred who desires to siphon every entity of life;
they are murderers, robbers, rapists, criminals of every kind.
No one is innocent: the good is just a speck in a wholeness
of immorality. This is the world, where every being lives.
This is each being. I am a being. You are.
And to escape is futile. They say there is only one way: to die.
To die – and be brought forth again into new life.
A new life it is, yet destined to live in the same world of lies.
Therefore the way is not really to die; it is to live without
simply breathing. It is to live by inhaling all the maladies,
purifying it with pure emotions. Then the ultimate antidote
to the heinous world is breathed out. And the soul will live free.

the poet

That’s him. On the desk. Making himself at ease
on that wooden chair. Sometimes he would roam
around and finds his place of comfort. Then
he’ll try to weave simple scribbles into meanings
that convey thoughts, emotions, and experiences.
Struggling –
and forcing all the sweats and blood do the work
of creating imaginations. He smirks,
cries, laughs, smiles, frowns. He thinks about
or confuses himself with several feelings and
thoughts. About how the fish flies in the sea
without drowning, the real highest mountains still
unconquered by the toughest, on the continuous burning
of the sun after being buried in the horizon. Even the joys
and harshest of personal experiences –
how he loves to look at his beloved and wish
she’ll always be protected; certainty of a happy-ever-after
ending though it’s just a dream, and before long
the leaving. And the hope of being together again.
On being alone; companies of friends and the shared
moments. These – . Single words concocted with another,
and another. Soon a masterpiece is built. Oftentimes
only he can understand. But then, it will not stop
there. Words cannot suffice, he knows. And so he keeps
forming the world as he knew it. That’s him. Still writing.

a lonely man and the sun

Tell me your secret –
how could you be so tough:
beaming with hope,
with radiance.
amidst the passing of the storms
of lightnings and thunders,
you endure the struggle of
being one;

And here I am
suffering your blaze –
that warmth
encompasses all
my body,
my wondering mind, and
I’m all in drought watching you
– awed by your presence.

paglaho

Inspirasyon
inspirasyon nakawala sa akin,
at pilit man habulin
kilometro na ang layo –
peste, lintik na buhay!

Ngayon
ngayon paano na
ang panaginip ng kabataan
para ngang bula
biglaan, pumutok!

Tatawa
tatawa na lang ako
sisigaw ng kawalan
habang bumabalik sa dati
sira-ulo, baliw!

Palipasin
palipasin na lang siguro
sapagkat wala nang bukas
narito na ang wakas
papalapit, nagmamadali!

tomorrow

The day is soon no more
without you I expect,
sure you are not today:
to speak, touch
just look at me
without you
I’ll die before midnight.

Even so,
this life gleefully lives the now
still waiting for you;
for in his heart
you’ll always live
another day –
I might see you then.

yesterday

You passed by,
again
shorn of uttering hello
only a hush of goodbye:
and I live down
missing you this moment.

I long to have you
but impossible;
deep in the mind
it is clear,
you’ll always be going by
leaving me today.

a lonely man and the moon

the shade of the moonlight:
yellow, no!
golden
precious and captivating
yet unowned,
not the rich
nor the astronauts
can possess.

and yes, it’s free
that magnificent smile
gleaming with kindness
at me, this forlorn soul
up till now just gazing –
better yet staring
amused and bewildered
by the unraveling sight.

lakaw sa kamatangaan

Ngunyan garadan na an kadaklan na tawo

maglakwatsa kita sa tahaw kan tinampo
istoryahan kita kan mga pangyarari
tungkol sa buhay man o maski sari-sari

Pwede man magkanta maski mayo sa tono
sigurado mayo man makakarisa sato
an nasa paligid, mga anino lang saka ako
asin sa pagdangog ko magayon an boses mo

Sa irarom kan mga bituon kita magbayle pa
todo kembot sabay lukso sa pagkaogma
sobra an sakong namamate ta ika an kaiba
sana man lang ako an iniisip mayo nang iba

Sa bangging ini kakaputan ko an saimong kamot
dai na bubutasan ta ako talagang namomoot
pangadyi ko lang na an puso dai talikudan
sa oras na ining maliwanagon an bulan.

sa harayo

Minakusog an kalayong
nagkukurab sa puso ko
dulot kan
kagayunang nagluluwas
sa presensya mo

an ngirit sa saimong lawgon
nagbubuhay sa aldaw ko

sa aga na maabot
may tighahalat – mayong iba
ika sana

mantang ang namamate
kusog garong gapo
dai pa giraray mataram
ako may pagmate saimo

pag ika parani na
nagpupundo na an oras ko
dila nagkakairipit sa ngusong tikom
dai na aram an gigibuhon
nawawara sa ibang kinaban
dai ka man lang makaulay
ta ako nagagadan na

anong kakaluwasan
kaning pagkagusto saimo
kun ako harayo saimo
ika man sako

an haloy nang namamate
nagluluwas sa labi
pag ika harayo lang
pag ika harayo na.