I may never see you
when I greet the morning
but the thought of you
never slips my mind
your radiant glow
it attracts my soul
the mysterious gloom
thrills my body
yet doubt i’ll ever touch you
not now, maybe tomorrow
this uncertainty is utter
only time will tell
when my heart stops beating
i’ll succumb in your sweet embrace.
1 comment:
I like this, and I think both poems, "Sunrise" and "Sunset", should be a set. ^_^
Some comments:
your radiant glow
it attracts my soul
I think you can remove the it at the beginning of the second line, because it slightly disrupts the flow of the poem.
the mysterious gloom
thrills my body
Nothing really wrong with it, but thrills my body strangely called to my mind Mariah Carey's "Touch My Body". Ahaha. ^^; Parang hindi maganda kasi connotation, hehe...or then again, baka overexposure lang sa isang certain classmate natin sa Med...:P
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